The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind of emotion - our family has experienced joy, sadness, frustration, and even some fear. But most of all, we've experienced an un- ending shower of love.
Anyone who has worked in ministry, served in a ministry, or started a ministry understands that it can be a glorious and difficult experience. You have people with lots of ideas and good intentions coming together for the greater good. When our own agendas get in the way, and we forget to continually and in every moment ask for God's guidance, things can get a bit hairy.
Sometimes, the focus gets shifted onto what ourselves and the world can bring to the table instead of what God tells us to bring. As humans, it is our natural instinct. But with continual prayer and with the word of God in us, his will is done.
Last week was Josh's last week as worship leader at the Edge. We have pretty strong convictions, and many things that were happening at the church, we felt, were not appropriate. We did a lot of praying and self reflection, and decided that we had to bring these concerns up to the senior pastor. After many weeks of talking and discussing things with him, we (the pastor and ourselves) decided that we would be done the first week of February. This week, after some exchanged feelings, the pastor decided to let us go. This happened suddenly, yesterday afternoon.
To be honest, it left me feeling hurt and a little frustrated (mostly with the way things were dealt with. .. I like to finish what I start, and just have closure). Our phones were disconnected, and the pastor angrily approached my husband about everything in an intersection in their vehicles. But I know that God is good, and that even though I felt like we were just pushed out of a life boat into the middle of the ocean with no paddle, My God is a faithful God, and He would provide.
And boy, did He ever.
Yesterday, we were essentially cut off from our church. BUT:
Yesterday, I got a full time job that pays more and I will be doing what I love.
Yesterday, friends rallied around us to show us love in a time of hurt and confusion... one family let the kids and I stay with them while Josh moved our stiff from the church. They made us dinner and gave us some storage space. They added a phone line to their plan so that we had a way to contact people (and gave us a phone to use).
Yesterday, we were approved for low cost Internet at our home and got everything set up for it.
Yesterday, some friends heard some news about us being done, and hadn't heard from us all day, so they stopped by to check on us.
I have been completely overwhelmed by the love from our friends that we have made since being here. Even today, sine other friends stopped by to bring us ice cream and chat.
Then I realized - community. Its been the word we've used from the beginning. This is what life is about. Coming together to live each other and help each other and just do. Life. Together. I feel so alive, not because of the size of my house or the things that I own, or the money I make. Its because my friends, the people that I surround myself with, they love me. They build me up in Christ. We laugh, we cry, we talk about God. We do life together.
The pastor apologized for his reaction, and things were left in ok standings. My prayer is that time will heal the wounds that have been made, in all parties involved. I know that he is still working, and he is in complete control. I know that none of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes. I know that we maybe didn't always approach issues with grace or tact. But I know that God is working in all of our lives, and he uses all things for our good.
My God is an awesome God. He has extended grace and mercy to us in a time when we need it most. He has provided in every way possible, and He has shown us over and over again what it means to love through the means of our families, and our friends who have become like family.
No greater love has man than this, to lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
