Looking at Our Marriage Differently, For Once.

If you are married, or engaged, or dating someone that might be the one and secretly reading all the marriage books that you can lay your hands on... this post is for you.

I've never been one for reading all of those marriage books, even though I have read some, and I think that they hold a lot of good information. But after a while, books telling you what to fix about your marriage become  tedious and boring, and I lose interest about a quarter of the way through. 

Not with this book.

When picking a book to review, I saw "the surprising secrets of highly happy marriages" by Shaunti Feldhahn and just kept scrolling down the page. When I didn't see another book that interested me, I decided to click on it and see what it was all about. It intrigued me, I must admit, when the back of the book talked about highly happy couples 'going to bed mad, keeping score, and not telling it like it is". 

In this very unique and well written book, Feldhahn takes the boring, mundane marriage book and turns it into into something new and exciting... And all she did was focus on the positive things that couples were doing instead of focusing on the negative things that we are doing! AMAZING! 

While reading this book, I didn't feel like I was a failure at marriage, but while reading stories of what has worked for other couples, it inspired me to try harder at my marriage, and to try new things. 

Bottom line: read this book. If you are single, dating, engaged, or have been married for 25 years. Read it!

Change in Heart

Being thrown into the working world once again has proved challenging and rewarding for this working Mama. I've already had lots of ups and downs, and the reality that both Josh and I have to be working in order to pay the bills can sometimes be overwhelming, especially on the most difficult days at work. But even through the miry clay, I know and trust that I'm not in charge. Christ has a plan for my life, and even if I can't see it, I'd much rather let Him be in charge of it.

For starters, I've tried to take charge before, to no avail. Take in my current job at Green Acres, for example. I got sucked in to a negative vibe somehow, and because I started thinking about what was best for myself, I started forgetting about who was really in charge. My whole focus was turned away from caring for my residents and my co-workers, and was instead turned toward all the difficult and 'bad' things about my job situation.

Thankfully, on a certain day, my boss called me out on it, and I heard her. Through all the negative that seemed to be surrounding me, something stuck with what she said. So I tried to pull myself up out of the mire. And then came my 3 month evaluation.

I was so nervous to go into that little office with my boss, where I was going to tell her exactly how I felt about the whole work place, and all the things I thought that she could do better. Well, thankfully, God put a stop to that, and I went in with a humble heart, telling her of the way my attitude had been so horrible lately. While I didn't 'fail' my evaluation, I left the office with a new understanding for my boss, and the Boss, Christ the King. I was humbled, to tears, and had my eyes opened again to see others the way Christ sees them.

Since then, I have once again found the joy in my job, even though it can still be hard. The crazy thing? A lot of the things that I whined and complained about still happen. But I don't let them consume me. It is a classic example of how our hearts can harden when we focus on the negative, but just as easily, our hearts can become soft and warm when we focus on the positive.

While I feel like all Josh and I do is work these days, I am thankful for the work that God has given me to do, and I pray that with a new heart and a new attitude, I can make the most out of the days I have at Green Acres. Having a negative attitude at work as well as being surrounded by it didn't just effect me at work -- it affected my family, my self esteem, the residents, and pretty much anyone that was around me. A good attitude is infectious, and I want to infect people. Let's be the light, instead of be the light hindrance.

Devotions

To start out, I will tell you that I am not the biggest fan of debotionals... I usually end up doing a day or two, or maybe a week if I'm lucky, and then forget about it. I find a lot of them - especially the ones aimed toward women -- rely too much on emotions and how the Bible can relate to them when they are feeling a certain way. While I do enjoy finding verses that make me feel better when I am emotional, I like to read the Bible to know the Bible, and to understand the history and the meaning behind it, in context.

This particular devotional is called "Knowing God By Name, A Girlfriends in God Adventure". At first glance, I wanted nothing to do with it. But as I read the description, I realized that the authors, Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith, and Mary Southerland were on to something intriguing. The devotions are a very good mix of history and fact mixed with relevance and relation. Each day talks about a name given to God in the Bible. It tells what it means and where it comes from, and also how it relates to our lives today.

if you want a good mix of fact and relation, I would suggest this devotional. I thoroughly enjoyed learning about all the names of God in the Bible and what they meant.

A Season for Tending by Cindy Woodsman

I've never really been a fan of the Amish fiction books, but I had decided t give this one a try. As it turns out, I am still not a fan of them, even though the book is written well.

The plot is full of lies and deceit, and the only difference in that it is in the Amish community instead of the English community, which is why I think that people are drawn to it. The main character, good girl Rhoda, ends up finding herself in trouble after being in the wrong spot at the wrong time, things get messy. A guy who needs her special skill comes to her rescue in order to save himself as well as get her out of a bad situation.

My impression of this book was that it is just another romance novel, full of drama and unrealistic love stories. If one enjoys this, then I would suggest this book, for it is well written grammatically. I, however, am not enticed to finish the series.

Quick Life Update

With so many ideas going around in my head about what my next blog should be about, this one is the easiest to write about, and its pretty exciting --  WE'RE MOVING TO MOUNT PLEASANT!

And we are very excited and ready for this new chapter of life. I feel like we have been waiting for this day for a few years, knowing that we would love to be back to MP someday, but knowing that it wasn't yet our time. I am so thankful for where God has taken us in the last four years -- I have made some lifelong friends, played in a band, lived in a 5th wheel, and gained confidence that I never knew I had. And now, God is telling us that it is time to use the trials and triumphs that we have experienced to reach out to the Mount Pleasant area and to Central Michigan University.

So, this week is crazy, seeing as how Josh works six days, and I am working five. On top of that, we will be starting the move as soon as we get the word that the apartment is ready for us, which could be as soon as tomorrow. If anyone wants to help us move, and is in the Mount Pleasant area, just let us know -- I'm sure we could put you to good use :)

Demolition

In high school, I was involved in many things: band, drama, BPA, NHS, Student Council, and Track, to name a few.

While I was a part of the track team all four years of my high school career, I could hardly run half a mile for our warm ups. After all, throwers shouldn't have to run, right? The track was about a mile (give or take) from the school, and all track athletes had to run to the track as a part of the warm-up. Except the throwers. I was never really pushed in my running, and even with our 2 laps around the track each day, no one ever watched us closely enough to make sure we did it. I was also one of the girls who dreaded the victory lap my team was insistent on taking every time we came out on top at a meet. One last thing to show you how much I disliked running -- my coach decided to make a team for the 4x1 race out of the throwers, so I had to run a 200. I hated it and told my coach that if he ever made me run a race at a meet again I'd quit... So -- I really didn't like to run.

So it was crazy to me when I decided that I wanted to start running. I started trying, and every time I tried, I got discouraged -- I was so out of breath after less than half a mile! I remember the run I went on with Josh, when he explained how to breathe in a way that made sense and finally -- finally! -- running turned into something that I might be able to do.

Since then, I've run four 5k's, and feel great after I run. After this last run, I finally came close enough to touch the wall of fear that I have been avoiding since I started running, though. Its so easy to get comfortable, and to do the same thing over and over, but that doesn't really ever challenge us. We have to push our bodies if we want to see change, and if we want to prove to ourselves that we CAN do something.

After my race last Saturday, for some reason, I was ready to face the wall head on. I was ready to push myself to see if I could run further than I ever had. 3.1 miles is a good distance, especially for someone who never used to run. My new goal was 4 miles. I was so excited last night, I couldn't really sleep. And waking up this morning, while I had lost some momentum from the night before, I had made my mind up that I was going to climb that wall and face my fear. I was going to run 4 miles.

With God running with me, I managed to run not 4 miles, but 5 miles. I can't explain the feeling you get when you push through to the end, and endure the pain because you see what is waiting at the finish line. I've never pushed myself to such an extreme, and I really wanted to do a dance and jump up and down when I finished. But I didn't, because I had to pee, and I was super tired :P

I decided that instead of leaving the wall up and risk potentially running into it again, I would just completely demolish it, proving to myself that I could run not only 4 miles, but 5 miles. I'm sure I could make this analogy even more cheesy, but I think you get the picture :P

I wasn't planning on making this all about my running experience, but I guess it is. I have learned so much from running -- Its such a unique sport, and the athletes are all different. The feeling of finishing a race is exhilarating. And I think the best thing about it is having your family/friends there at the finish line supporting you :)

I guess I just had to get this off my chest... I RAN 5 MILES TODAY!!! WOOOOOO!!!

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" - Hebrews 12:1

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13

Home Is Where The Heart Is

For a while, every time we pulled into a parking lot - the church, the grocery store, a gas station - our two-year-old daughter would yell, "WE HOME!" Its funny, because who would think of the gas station as home? But as I thought about it each time she said it, I realized she had a point.

What does being 'home' really mean? A lot of us have a building, our house, that we consider our home. College students live in dorms, a home away from home. But the Bible says that this world is NOT our home. So... what does being 'home' really mean? Since Josh and I have been married, we've moved around quite a bit; seven times in four years, to be exact. Maybe this is why I ask this question. We've never really settled into a certain place, but maybe we aren't meant to 'settle' on this earth.... maybe God is calling us to a higher calling -- to be unsettled in His name. To do His work on this earth until we are really called to our true home.

The saying 'home is where the heart is' is really a great truth. If my heart is on Christ, then my home is with Him, which makes dealing with the crazy of this world a lot easier. So I try to make my heart focused on Christ. 

Next, its easy to go through the motions, and not really be completely into a task we are doing -- if we are asked to take someone somewhere, for instance, and we say yes, but don't really want to. When we decide to have our heart and mind into the task we are performing, we are more likely to get something out of it that we God intended us to get. 

When my daughter yells 'We're Home!' as we pull into the grocery store parking lot, I now just smile, and say "yeah!" as I share in her enthusiasm. Her heart is into going grocery shopping, and her comment reminds me to enjoy the task at hand. She has already learned to be fully engaged in the task at hand, and when Mom can be fully engaged too, grocery shopping turns into valuable Mama-daughter time!