A New Beginning

I can' believe that Aurelia is six weeks already. It is amazing how fast this last month has gone by! As she continues to grow, I continue to realize the significance of her in our lives.

First of all, I couldn't even imagine our life without our beautiful daughter now.... It just wouldn't seem right. Second of all, I wouldn't want to. The presence of Aurelia has made me strive to be a better person: She has helped me to learn patience and a selfless love, to see beauty in things where beauty is hard to find (example: I never thought I'd see the day where I celebrated a dirty diaper, but after three days of no poopy diapers, it is the most beautiful thing!), to take care of myself.... the list goes on and on. But one of the biggest impacts she has had on me is how she has changed my heart, and my purpose for life.

It used to be that I was just living life with no real purpose or direction. I was serving God, or doing my best to do so, and just going with the flow. For the first time in my life, I have a direction, and that is to REALLY serve. I've always heard stories from friends and strangers alike about how God had 'broken their hearts' for a certain type of people... poor people, teens, AIDS sufferers... but I hadn't really ever felt a true calling to help any certain type of people, in any certain place. (Many friends have had a calling to pursue certain careers as a way of serving Gods people as well) I just felt like I was wandering through life not really knowing where I would end up. Then, God decides to tell me to marry Josh (I was okay with it... I found him to be pretty cute :P)

That was challenge 1. Then we got pregnant, which became challenge 2. Josh has always had a passion for overseas missions, and while I found that enticing, I wouldn't say I was ever passionate about it. Until challenge 3 came about -- parenting the child that was growing inside of me. And thats when it happened. Taking care of Aurelia opened my eyes... This child is totally dependent on Josh and I... especially on me... I have what she needs to survive -- food!

Around week two of Aurelia being here with us, she had to go on formula, to get rid of the jaundice, and since I was trying to nurse, I ended up having to pump for the week so I wouldn't lose the milk. Well, I didn't do the best job pumping ( I didn't think I had to stay on her feeding schedule in order to maintain a steady supply of milk) and that led to me producing less milk.

The next week was when God truly opened my eyes... I went to nurse and couldn't produce enough milk for my baby to get full! Not being able to provide for my precious child was one of THE worst feelings I had ever had, even though I knew that I could just hop in the van and get some formula from WalMart if it was absolutely necessary. But even worse than that feeling was the one that I had in my heart for all those women in other countries who cannot provide for their children not because they are bad moms, but because they don't have the means. God broke my heart for these women who struggled daily just to keep themselves and their children alive. And thats when I realized it.

This is what I am supposed to do. This is my passion -- to help women and children survive, whether is it providing clean water, or food, or shelter, or just loving them -- this is what I should be doing with my life. And suddenly, two passions arose in me like a wild fire: Overseas missions to help women and children any way I could.

My life now has more than one purpose: To help these women and children somehow, and to raise my daughter in such a way that will show her just how big this world is. To raise her knowing that God will provide, and that all we have to do to make a difference is to answer the calling from Him. No matter what He asks us to do, He will provide everything we need.

These are just a few of my thoughts, and they are a bit jumbled. I will save the rest for a later date :) I am loving life right now, and I couldn't be more happy. Being a mom has changed my outlook on everything, and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Praise God for my beautiful daughter!

7 whole ounces :D

Aurelia has been doing well this past week :D At the doctor, she weighed in at 7 lbs, 6oz, which is great! She hasn't seemed to be a very fussy baby, but since we don't have anything to compare her to, I guess I am not sure. It is exciting to see her start to grow -- She is starting to look around more (Its so cute when her little eyes cross from trying to focus!) and she is staying awake during the day a little more. She is also starting to make cute little baby noises!

Josh and I are doing pretty well, and I feel like we are getting more sleep, for the most part. While we have had some rough moments due to stress and lack of sleep/mis-communication, we are doing our best to take everything to God and to not get frustrated at each other over silly things (Its a good thing Josh is patient and loves me... I tend to be pretty emotional post-pregnancy!)
In the hospital, I had to watch three videos before they would let me leave.. one on breast feeding, one on Shaken Baby Syndrome, and one on postpartum depression. Before I had Aurie, I figured it was a real thing to have to think about, but didn't think that I would have to deal with it. Well, it has definitely been something I am struggling with, and it is a bigger deal than I thought. The good thing is that my relationship with God is at its strongest point these days, and I know that I couldn't get through the tough moments without Him! Satan likes to use my weak moments to pressure me into old habits, and in those moments, I see the love of God more strongly than ever :) It is definitely a major battle at times, but God is good, and so are the people in my life. I just have to remember to let them in.

Gracie is doing well... she seems to like it here, which is good, because we really enjoy having her around! She is such a good cat, and its nice to have someone to cuddle with when Josh is having his 'Daddy time' with Aurelia. She had a swollen gland thing in her neck when we got her, and that has pretty much gone down completely. The only thing we are working on getting healed are the sores on her face, which she keeps scratching at and making bleed... I think they would go away if she just let them heal, but she keeps scratching it because it is itching...

Cold Weather

Last night, Aurie got to go to her very first sporting event... we went to the Girls Cass City Basketball game last night :) The Varsity team won, but we didn't make it for any of the JV game. We got to see some girls from the Cass City Missionary Church youth group as well, and they invited us to come watch their production they have coming up in March.

Aurie seems to be doing well, for the most part. She had a WIC appointment last night, and she weighed 6 lbs 15 oz, which isn't the best, considering she is supposed to be gaining weight, but I think it is from all the spitting up/puking she has been doing lately. I am hoping that the doctor doesn't put her on formula today.. that stuff is smelly! Other than that, she is doing well.

The last few nights, she has been pretty fussy at night, leaving Josh and I pretty tired out. We couldn't figure out why she was fussing, until this morning when Josh came to wake me up... I went into the living room and it was SO COLD! The thermostat read 64 degrees! I think Aurie was having a hard time getting to sleep because she was too cold. (She would sleep fine if she slept on Josh, but she wouldn't stay in her bassinet... which makes sense now :P)

The back of our house is a lot warmer than the front of our house, because of the big window in living room, so we moved Aurie in there, and she is sleeping much more peacefully now, thankfully! I can't wait until it starts to warm up, just for the sake of our sleeping :P

I am getting pretty ready to start working out feeling more in shape than I am now, but I know that I am still healing and probably shouldn't anything too strenuous. I was shocked yesterday at the appointment when they weighed me and I was close to 30 pounds lighter than I was the week before I had Aurelia... That was SUPER encouraging! I know that it will be difficult to lose weight and get into shape, but I have a lot motivating me: I want Aurelia to know what it means to be healthy and to have healthy habits; I want her to know that it may take work (especially if she gets more of mom's metabolism), but it is worth it; I want to be able to run around and play with her as she becomes active; I have a wonderful, supportive husband who I can't wait to be able to keep up with when we hike or run or whatever it is that we will be doing!; God is a pretty big motivator as well... my body is a temple, and I can do His work much more efficiently if I am healthy!

It is a lot easier blogging when I have something exciting to blog about :)

Aurelia's day out

Sunday was a big day for Aurelia as her and I finally ventured out of the house for more than a couple of hours. I was very excited to see people again at church... it had seemed like forever since I had been there! And of course, everyone adored Aurelia.. and she did very well while Pastor Len was speaking.. she slept the whole time :) On the first Sunday of every month, a couple puts together a pancake breakfast before Sunday School and church, and a small number of people come, so it was nice to get there a bit early and already be there when the crowds came in... it was less overwhelming for all three of us :)

Sunday evening we decided to head to our evening service (which Pastor Len made a bit shorter for sake of the 'big game') and then we went over to Cass City to hang out with the Cass City Missionary Church youth group at their Super Bowl party. It was a pretty good time with lots of good food! Aurelia didn't get bothered so much because the teens didn't really want to hold her, so she ate and then went right to sleep, and slept until we got home.

Over all, it was a pretty good Sunday!

The first week...

It has been a little over a week now since we have had Aurelia with us, and it has probably been one of the longest weeks I can remember. It was filled with overwhelming joy, frustration, irritability, sleep deprivation, but most of all, lots of love.

When people say that the first week is the worst and the hardest week of having a baby, I think I could agree, now that I have been through it. Josh and I have had our world turned upside down, but God has been good in working through it with us. We have been surrounded by wonderful people, and our families have been nothing but helpful!

It is amazing to me all the emotions that I felt from hour to hour... Aurie and I were having some troubles nursing, which was the hardest part for me, but we are slowly learning together, and it has been a wonderful experience. I have learned patience in a whole new way, having this tiny baby relying on me to give her food and to take care of her. It is so wonderful, and scary at the same time!

Sleeping hasn't been too bad, I don't think... Josh and I take shifts sleeping on the couch with Aurie in her bouncer... she seems to sleep much better in that than in her bassinet right now. It also gives each of us a more peaceful couple hours of sleep, which is still very much needed at this point :P

Josh has been wonderful to Aurie and I! He is such a wonderful Daddy, and I believe that having Aurie is helping us to become closer to each other. It is also bringing us closer to God, which has been so renewing for myself. I am so thankful for both Aurelia and my wonderful husband -- they have both helped me to grow spiritually and emotionally (and thanks to Aurelia, physically, too :P), and I know that I have been so blessed!

Praise God for our wonderful little family :) I can't wait to see what he has in store for us!

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear"

Ephesians 4:29

This is our memory verse for this week... It is a good reminder for me, and one verse that I need to remember, because I know that I am not always the best at following it.

Aurelia Jane Hill

So, the last post I wrote was on the 24th.. the night before Aurie made her entrance into the world... and now she's here!

I can't believe how fast time has gone by -- Or all the things that we have been through and that have changed. It has been a crazy 5 days, and we have been super tired, but it has all been a big blessing. Already we are starting t see Aurie's personality come out, and it is fun to watch her becoming more alert! It was nice to have Grammie Ricolo here for a few days to help us out: She made us meals, helped with Aurie, and then Grampy came and they helped us to get the nursery more in order.

It was also nice for Grandma and Grandpa Hill to make a surprise visit!

Josh is such a good daddy :) He loves being with Aurie and feeding her, and he got to change her first diaper in the hospital when I couldn't get out of bed very easily :) She seems to really calm down if she is upset when Daddy holds her... its pretty cute!

So there's a small update on life with a new baby.... we are excited to see how God is going to be working through her and through us as she grows up!!

Baby Hill, among other things.

I can't believe that time has gone by so fast... week 37 of our pregnancy is here and Baby Hill should be making his/her arrival very soon! Despite my fears of labor and delivery early in the pregnancy, I am now urging the baby to start this process for him/her to arrive; I think it will be worth it to be able to meet the newest member of our family!

I don't think that I've had this many doctor appointments in my life :P I am up to one a week, plus this week I have two extras, with the WIC program. It has been beneficial, though, because I have been learning a lot from most of the appointments. Lately I have been just going on my own, because they are just regular checkups, and they take about ten minutes, once I am with the doctor, so Josh and I decided that it isn't really necessary for him to miss a walk through or something else for it. It is also nice because these last appointments are in Frankenmuth, which is at least 20 minutes closer than Saginaw. I am really liking that, especially since getting in and our of the van is becoming more and more of a challenge!

I would say that it is pretty amazing the changes I've had within the last couple of weeks regarding labor/delivery, but I have realized that when I stay in God's Word and really live for Him everyday, the anxiety and fear of labor seems to dissipate. It has been so good to have such support not only from our family members, but from friends also - making sure I am not overdoing things, or helping out when they can. Josh has also been wonderful... I am pretty sure he is a better cook than I am, though (he's at least more creative than I am. That's the real reason he makes dinner and lunch -- he gets bored of macaroni & cheese everyday :P)

We have decided to memorize a verse or two every week together, which I think will be good for us. Our game plan is to choose a memory verse from either the lesson in Sunday school or the sermon from Pastor Len. I think it will help us to become closer with each other as well as build our relationship with God and our understanding of the Word. The verses we chose for this week are Ephesians 4:1-2. I don't know them yet, because we just chose them today, so maybe tomorrow I will put them up here...

Oh, and we had a youth game night last night, because Kingston had no school today... about 10 kids showed up, and we had a pretty good time. Josh played Monopoly with the guys (it lasted about three hours, I think) while Kevin and I played a few different games with everyone else. Although we were hoping for a bigger turnout, I will admit that I found it to be really relaxing having a small group of teens there... less clean up and more individual time to get to know them better!