Mother of 3...

Nope. I'm not pregnant. And I don't plan on getting pregnant any time soon. As much as I think I am ready to have baby #3, Josh is just not quite there yet! But, I have been blessed with an amazing opportunity, and its one that I have struggled with until just recently.

You see, there's this neighbor boy. He is 9 years old, and he was always hanging around playing with the boys who live below us, and the girl who lives next to us. He lives across the street, and would squeeze his skinny little body through the gate of our complex to come hang out with his friends (instead of going around to the walk in gate). Eventually, he started knocking on the door asking if Aurelia could play.

The thing I noticed was just how polite he was. When someone in the complex got home and had groceries, he would stop what he was playing and help them carry their stuff to their apartment. He always said please and thank you, and when one of the neighbor kids would argue with my decision about something, he would tell them that we need to respect said decision. So, as time passed, Nico started hanging around more and more. He kind of took on the role of big brother to Aurelia when older kids were around, as well as when they were playing inside. And Koen absolutely adored him.

The thing with Nico is that he just never went away. He started showing up more and more. He started coming over right after school and staying until bedtime. He was going to church with us. He was eating dinner with us. He was always. Around. So, I had a choice to make.

I had always talked about wanting our home to be a safe place for people to come. A place where they can feel at home. A welcoming place. I believe that God gave us this place, and its His to use as He pleases. It became clear to me that He wanted this to be a safe and comfortable place for Nico, but I had a selfish attitude -- I was having a difficult time with Nico always being around. Mostly, I was having a hard time changing my attitude and outlook on something that is probably way bigger than myself.

By allowing Nico to be over at our house, I am giving his mother sanctity in knowing he is safe*. I am giving Aurelia and Koen playful interaction. I am giving Nico the same thing. Josh is giving Nico a positive example of a male role model, which Nico does not have in his life. The only person I was thinking of was myself. I wanted to focus on my family, but wasn't realizing that the whole time, Nico just wanted a solid foundation to call family.

Now, I do know that I enjoy and even function better sometimes with a wind down period. I have just learned to mentally reschedule when that time is, and rethink what it looks like. My gears needed to be shifted, and now I feel like I can see a little into what God sees -- God has big plans, and I am but a small part of it. I don't want to spend my life being selfish and living for me. I want my door to be open for people to come and call this place home. I want the neighbor kids to know that God loves them, and that starts by showing them God's love in our home.

So, with that being said, I have become a mother of 3 (for now, anyway), and I am learning to love the challenges it presents, the joy and laughter it brings, and the ways in which I am able to share God's love in every moment with not 2, but 3 amazing kids.

*Please note that Nico has a mother who loves him dearly, but does not have a father figure in the picture. He also lives with his 18 year old brother who does not treat him well, and his 12 year old sister. Most days, his mom is working, or trying to keep up with a household as a single mother. They don't own a car, and she has been having some health issues, which she is also trying to get taken care of. Knowing that Nico has a place to go that isn't always at home with his brother eases her mind. We talk often, and she is a really nice lady.

Today, we went to the park, because according to the weather, we are supposed to have rain for the next five days (I'll believe it when I see it).

My beautiful kids. I dont know why they looked so unhappy. They were having a blast. 

I don't want my selfish desires and/or ambitions to get in the way of the opportunities God has for me. I wanted my home to be a sanctuary for others, but when it came down to it actually being that, I was challenged. I wrestled, and finally gave in to what God was calling me to do. It is amazing what it is like to let God lead, and I see it time and time again. When He is in control, lives are changed, and God is glorified.

When God is calling you to something, don't look away. Instead, even if it is challenging, accept the calling. He is there with you through it all, and You will be resting in His peace. Let's learn to love one another before we love ourselves, because only by loving other will we truly begin to love us.

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.…

1 Peter 4:8-10